I D I O T

Its been almost a month since my last post. Why? Because I am officially an idiot. I forgot the username I established for this blog. That's not the part that makes me an idiot though. Its the time I spent trying to find out what the hell my username is and the ease of which it finally materialized. I feel like an idiot.

That being said, I have spent most of my life trying not to appear stupid or idiotic. I think it is one of my "Things", being thought of as smart or intelligent. It started early enough. When I was a kid I lived next door to a school teacher. She was practicing her testing procedure for potentially gifted children so my siblings and I were her guinea pigs. As luck would have it, the IQ portion of my testing was elevated. I have been trying to live up to it ever since.

That is why I revel in the ability to admit here that I don't know everything. It is liberating, albeit brief, still liberating.

I will be back soon now that I know my username and password.

Go slowly and take care.

Yeah, I'm talking to you.

This whole blogging thing works better for me if I envision a person out there somewhere. So this is for you (whoever you are). I hope your weekend will be filled with interesting people and exciting events. Mine won't. If days were like pages in a word doc I could cut and paste weekends and save myself a lot of time. Just skip to Monday and start typing again. I personally think it is pretty sad to wish time away.

A little background is necessary I think. Earlier this year my wife of 10 years informed me that she was not happy with our relationship and did not want to try to make it any better. Since that time I have been treading water, trying not to drown. Had we not been expecting our third child, she would be gone already. We decided the best possible scenario was to co-exist until the baby arrives and then figure out what to do. Technical separation does not make for fun times at home.

Maybe this weekend will be different!!!! Does that look like a positive mental attitude? Trying it on for size, it needs to fit. Maybe someone will invite themselves over and cook dinner, bring cold beer and maybe even an after dinner cigar (Montecristo perhaps). Scratch all that except the dinner part, I have the beer & cigars, I just need the adult conversation with someone that gives a shit about what I think. Not likely to happen since my compadre is on vacation. He being the only person other than you that is aware of my marital situation. The sombeoch has been on a beach all week. I will admit that his being gone has made this a very long week. BTW he is my brother and he owes me a drunk. We work together also and I have covered for him all week.

I am going to end on another positive note. I will absolutely enjoy my son this weekend.

That's better.

Take care, talk to ya later.

Reading Blogs

Since my foray into blogging I decided to expand my reading list. I stumbled upon some interesting bloggers. I actually enjoy the mommybloggers. I find them interesting for several reasons. First, they give me insight. My wife is a SAHM/WAHM so it def helps. Second, I envy the sense of community/caring (guys can't do that, well at least not any more). Third, there are some pretty hot mommies out there :D.

I picked up some links to serious bloggers (people who actually have something to say or at least a lot of folks who want to read it) that attended the BlogHer conference. Looked like a real good time, lots of partying and drunk pics. I remember (hazily) back when. So I have been reading some of their stuff this morning (way better than working).

The BlogHer conference reminded me of an annual get together that is no more :(. For several years I attended an annual get together of some buddies at the beach. Actually it was my brother and me with a college buddy and his two brothers. The event took place at my buddies parents condo on the beautiful beaches of Gulf Shores AL/Pensacola FL. I mention both places because on the border was the Famous and now under hurricane reconstruction Flora-Bama Lounge, Package, Oyster Bar & Grill. The condo was .9 miles east of the line (walk/stumbling distance).

These weekend get togethers were fabulous while they lasted. Lots of partying, drinking, eating and no responsibilities. This was a collection of guys that were experiencing extreme difficulty in there every day lives who needed a release valve. I speak longingly for this event because it can never exist as it once did. People, places and events change, some for the better and some for the worse. My buddies parents sold their condo just before the hurricane hit that destroyed the Flora-Bama (The guy that bought it said he was going to redecorated anyway, now the ins will pay for it). That's the worse, the better is that one guy finally figured out that alcohol was not his friend, one that his first wife was not his friend either (this is in the better category because he is now happily married), one that life goes on after the loss of a child, one that family does appreciate his sacrifices and we are still waiting on the last one to figure out anything at all.

I have searched in vain for a similar event to release the pressures of everyday life. The drinking is not so much a priority as it used to be (hangovers hurt more than they used to) but the sense of anticipation for the weekend and excitement of the unknown possibilities of the weekend are yet to be reproduced. I think maybe in some way this blog is an attempt to recreate what I miss about those weekends. This is about as full of unknown possibilities at it gets and I must admit that anticipation no matter how far off the anticipated is still anticipation. And what you may ask is anticipated? My first reader of course. I am telling no one that I am blogging so someone will have to literally stumble on this blog.

This may be helping.

Take care and talk to ya later.

Initial post

I am not a writer. I don't really even like to talk much. Communicating is difficult for me. I listen very well although sometimes I don't hear very well. At least thats what I have been told. I don't disagree. This blog is an experiment in communication. I don't expect anyone to actually read what I am writing, Lord how boring it would be. Hopefully this will be a place for me to express thoughts and feeling freely without fear of reprisal. Speaking of which I almost disabled the comment section of this blog, but them I thought if someone is desperate enough to read what I write and want to comment, they may need to be heard (listening is my forte).

Enough for today, talk to you later.