It's Been a While

It's been too long since my last post. I guess I can update a little. I have been a single dad for two years now, for the most part. My custody arrangement with the ex is that I live with and take care of the kids from May until December with alternating weekends with their mother. From Jan to April we exchange places, with their mother living with the kids and I see them alternating weekends. I hope that is not too confusing. The kids stay in the house and we switch places. It has been working pretty good so far, I am keeping my fingers crossed.

I think I abandoned this blog when I got sucked into myspace and spit out into facebook. I really don't like the social sites anymore. No communication just games and politics. I will try to keep this up to date. At least post more often that every couple of years.

Take care, see ya.

It looks like I will do for the time being.....

Wife is not quite ready to call it quits after all, at least not right now. Seems that she can deal with the misery that is her life for a few more years. So I guess I am back in the record chasing business.

"I am no quitter, but I am tired of trying" a line from a BS song "Don't Make Me". She decided not to make me, when should I make her?

Take care,

No Records Here

I guess I will not make an attempt at the record for "Staying together for the kids". We are at about a year now and I think spouse is ready to bolt. She has let me know that she would be gone in a heart beat if she thought she could do it (kid raising) alone. Maybe she figures its time to try.

She has not vocalized this to me. We hardly vocalize at all. She blames me for not communicating or telling her what I am thinking or feeling. I tried to tell her how much I loved her and how much I needed her, but when you get pummelled with your needs like getting slapped in the face with a wet carp, you get the picture.

Here is my position for the record.

My wife chats with an "old friend" (male) on a regular basis and refused to stop talking to him when she found out how much it upset me. Since that time she has not only continued to talk to him but has also started chatting with another "old friend" (male) from high school. Get this, she tells me the second old friend is pissed at his girlfriend because she talks with a guy she used to date, even moved out (temporarily) over it. Was she telling me to go, I don't know.

There is also the Jekyll and Hyde thing. My wife suffers from severe pms. For one week of the month my mantra is "she will be normal again in a week". This time during the month was not as bad when she was on her meds, so I figure she has stopped taking her anti-depressant medication. Maybe that is why she is ready to run.

My wife gets everything she wants, with the exception of two things. One, I will not quit my job of 23 years and move. Did I mention that we live in her late grandparents home (renovated) next door to her family home in which her sister now lives. And yes her sister lived there first, so we made the decision to live next to family. Two, I will not build a six foot privacy fence around our back yard. We are building a six foot shadow box fence around the back yard. Other than these two things, she wants it she gets it.

Damn I am tired of her bitching about how rough her life is.

Take care, more later maybe.

Who holds the record....

I was just trying to figure out how long someone can stay in a broken marriage without trying to fix it. Surely some can say "a lifetime" and others would be single before the next weekend. I wonder who holds the record for the longest time in a loveless marriage? And can they document the record (a notarized statement from the spouse should suffice)? It seems to me the "staying together for the kids" would put the record around 17 or 18 years but there may be other considerations. And what if the kids never leave home, that could extend the record. I can see it now, "we are staying together for the grandkids".

Seems to me that attempting to repair the marriage would be better for the kids, grandkids, great grandkids, etc., just my opinion.

Take care, see ya

The power of pictures

I recently updated the wallpaper on my work machine. It has made a drastic change in my attitude about life and my place in it.

I used to be one of those "whatever came on the machine" people or at most change it to a solid color. The theory being that it is usually covered with open windows or electronic notes on all the crap I should be working on at any given moment. I changed it to a cute pic of my kids several months ago and have changed it a couple of times since then (always pics of the kids though).

When you have had a long day, tired from all the b.s. and ready to quit (forever if not just for the day) it helps to close all your programs and see a beautiful grinning face or faces to remind you why you do what you do. When you get home usually those beautiful faces arn't quite so happy and supportive. It's not the kids fault of course, they are 3 1/2 yrs and 7 months. They are concerned with their own struggles in life.

Enough for now.

Take care, and stay on the rails.

Titles are the easy part

Most of the time I spend thinking about what I may want to post on this site is wasted. Wasted for the purposes of this blog, but not wasted in worthiness. I actually enjoy the thinking process more than the writing process. I see or hear things and think about how to relate the story here. Most of the time I discard the ideas as not worth the time it takes to type them. It occured to me that at this pace I may have a dozen posts by the end of next year. But, then again, who cares. I enjoy viewing the world through blogging eyes. I pay more attention to the details of events and stories in my life and that can not be a bad thing. I may never write about anything relevant or substantive but this is all about me is it not? People use the blog world for different reasons, I am still defining mine.

Be a useful engine.

I D I O T

Its been almost a month since my last post. Why? Because I am officially an idiot. I forgot the username I established for this blog. That's not the part that makes me an idiot though. Its the time I spent trying to find out what the hell my username is and the ease of which it finally materialized. I feel like an idiot.

That being said, I have spent most of my life trying not to appear stupid or idiotic. I think it is one of my "Things", being thought of as smart or intelligent. It started early enough. When I was a kid I lived next door to a school teacher. She was practicing her testing procedure for potentially gifted children so my siblings and I were her guinea pigs. As luck would have it, the IQ portion of my testing was elevated. I have been trying to live up to it ever since.

That is why I revel in the ability to admit here that I don't know everything. It is liberating, albeit brief, still liberating.

I will be back soon now that I know my username and password.

Go slowly and take care.